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I am upset.
- Thread starter SarraceniaScott
- Start date
FlytrapGurl
apple rings.. what more can i say?
Guys... lay off of SS. He said he spanked her, not beat her. I don't think it's wrong as long as it doesn't actually REALLY hurt the child. I was spanked when I was little for stuff. I don't think that was wrong, even though alot of the other stuff my grandparents do is wrong... but the spanking was OK. I never was really bothered by pain, so it's not like it scarred me for life.
If he had spanked her just for picking flowers without knowledge of it being wrong, then that would be wrong. But apparently she was told before not to do it, so she knew she wasn't supposed to, but she did it anyway. Then a spank isn't wrong. I guess I could apply what I know about horsemanship to this.. horses are exactly like small children. If they misbehave and you don't discipline them, then they know they got away with it and they'll do it again. If a horse kicks or bites at you, a smack is necessary and it's OK, because it's discipline.
My 25 cents. Now where's my soda?
If he had spanked her just for picking flowers without knowledge of it being wrong, then that would be wrong. But apparently she was told before not to do it, so she knew she wasn't supposed to, but she did it anyway. Then a spank isn't wrong. I guess I could apply what I know about horsemanship to this.. horses are exactly like small children. If they misbehave and you don't discipline them, then they know they got away with it and they'll do it again. If a horse kicks or bites at you, a smack is necessary and it's OK, because it's discipline.
My 25 cents. Now where's my soda?
Clint
Stay chooned in for more!
Discipline does NOT impart moral values, and vice versa. They are 2 very different things.
You can be very disciplined and completely and totally amoral. Ken Lay? Jeffrey Dahmer? The 9/11 hijackers? Adolph Hitler? Lt. William Calley? These were/are VERY disciplined and methodical people. They had goals, and they focused on them with laser beam intensity, devotion and discipline.
I'd rather have moral children, thank you. Morals come first. Discipline can come later....and it's something that most toddlers are incapable of. Toddlers are all about the Id. A 3 year old is old enought to know don't touch means don't touch. But most 3 year olds lack the discipline to follow through on not touching! After all..you've just pointed out something really attractive to them
I still think your swat was justified, though.
Take your daughter out for an ice-cream cone. Talk to her about how much she means to you, and that you like your plants, too, and want them to grow up and have "kids" of their own. Maybe make her your partner in caring for them? get her an itty bitty watering can. Talk to your wife about why you did what you did. Use "I" statements!~ Take her out to dinner. Dinner and flowers always works for me, LOL! This was minor...I doubt your daughter will remember the punishment, but she will remember the lesson, unless she's just plain stubborn, like I was. April
You can be very disciplined and completely and totally amoral. Ken Lay? Jeffrey Dahmer? The 9/11 hijackers? Adolph Hitler? Lt. William Calley? These were/are VERY disciplined and methodical people. They had goals, and they focused on them with laser beam intensity, devotion and discipline.
I'd rather have moral children, thank you. Morals come first. Discipline can come later....and it's something that most toddlers are incapable of. Toddlers are all about the Id. A 3 year old is old enought to know don't touch means don't touch. But most 3 year olds lack the discipline to follow through on not touching! After all..you've just pointed out something really attractive to them
I still think your swat was justified, though.
Take your daughter out for an ice-cream cone. Talk to her about how much she means to you, and that you like your plants, too, and want them to grow up and have "kids" of their own. Maybe make her your partner in caring for them? get her an itty bitty watering can. Talk to your wife about why you did what you did. Use "I" statements!~ Take her out to dinner. Dinner and flowers always works for me, LOL! This was minor...I doubt your daughter will remember the punishment, but she will remember the lesson, unless she's just plain stubborn, like I was. April
Trapper7
Loves VFT's!
I've never spanked my kid, who's approaching 12 now, but my wife has a few times. I don't really trust my judgement to keep it right, so don't start down that path. But it isn't reasonable to expect a 3-year old to remember those kind of instructions. I say it more to protect your plants than to protect the kid. Kid's brains don't work like ours, so keep the plants away from the kid for now.
nepenthes gracilis
Nepenthes Specialist
The bottom line is, a young person must be taught right from wrong early. Spanking is perfectly fine, its human nature to impose a little pain in discipline. Big deal, shes three, she'll learn early on not to do that again, unless she wants another spankin. Mental discipline is also good, ie: talking it out, but I believe that only works when a human is much older and able to comprehend words.
I still don't think discipline and morals go hand in hand, vis a vis the reasons I stated. A person can be very undisciplined and really moral(have a look a Jimmy Baker, or any televangelist), or very disclipined and very amoral. and everything in between.
But I still think you were right. April
But I still think you were right. April
superimposedhope
Somewhat Unstable
Actually, the bottom line is this:
Spanking is a choice every parent makes wether to do or not. You are perfectly welcome to your your own beliefs on this, but you have no right to condemn Scott for choosing to spank his child.
I think he laid it out perfectly in his first post. She was aware of the consequences and did it anyway, he did not over react and leave bruises, he gave her 'love taps'. There is no question of abuse or beating here, the only thing that seems to be on almost everyones minds, is whether it is right or wrong to spank a 3 year old.
If you think it's wrong, that is fine, but don't go acting like Scott did something atrocious. That is simply judging him, which you don't have the right to do.
Spanking is a choice every parent makes wether to do or not. You are perfectly welcome to your your own beliefs on this, but you have no right to condemn Scott for choosing to spank his child.
I think he laid it out perfectly in his first post. She was aware of the consequences and did it anyway, he did not over react and leave bruises, he gave her 'love taps'. There is no question of abuse or beating here, the only thing that seems to be on almost everyones minds, is whether it is right or wrong to spank a 3 year old.
If you think it's wrong, that is fine, but don't go acting like Scott did something atrocious. That is simply judging him, which you don't have the right to do.
It sort of amazes me...
we look at spanking as a bad thing now.
HELLO! Has *ANYONE* Seen how young people act now adays?! Even my generation (late 20's early 30's) act like fools cuz they weren't whooped every once and a while.
It's part of the parental duty to make sure the kids learn right from wrong... otherwise you have a bunch of demons running around being obnoxious and breaking stuff.
Whether you believe in physical punnishment or not --- SOMETHING needs to be done (and usually, I might add, just the thought of my father whoopin' me with a belt was enough to make me shape up).
Kids are way over the line now adays In my opinion, large in part because parents are afraid or unwilling to physically spank their own kids! C'mon guys, it's HARDLY abuse when you're molding the life long behavior of your child.
You're doing them a favor!
Oh wait.. who was the person that hasn't ever been spanked? Bring it on... i have a HUGE wooden paddle for you
we look at spanking as a bad thing now.
HELLO! Has *ANYONE* Seen how young people act now adays?! Even my generation (late 20's early 30's) act like fools cuz they weren't whooped every once and a while.
It's part of the parental duty to make sure the kids learn right from wrong... otherwise you have a bunch of demons running around being obnoxious and breaking stuff.
Whether you believe in physical punnishment or not --- SOMETHING needs to be done (and usually, I might add, just the thought of my father whoopin' me with a belt was enough to make me shape up).
Kids are way over the line now adays In my opinion, large in part because parents are afraid or unwilling to physically spank their own kids! C'mon guys, it's HARDLY abuse when you're molding the life long behavior of your child.
You're doing them a favor!
Oh wait.. who was the person that hasn't ever been spanked? Bring it on... i have a HUGE wooden paddle for you
I was spanked plenty in my younger days... (I'm 25 now) I deserved every one of them. I have friends that were never spanked... And I can see where their actions would show this. I believe in spankings... And plan on doing it myself when nessasary. I would say I am a good guy now. And it had lots to do with the punishments of what I did.
Andrew
P.S. I didn't read this whole topic..,. infact only the last 2 responses.. But this is my feeling on spankings. I'm sorry your VFTs flowers were picked.
There will be another year. And with the spanking... I bet the flower all the way next year.
Andrew
P.S. I didn't read this whole topic..,. infact only the last 2 responses.. But this is my feeling on spankings. I'm sorry your VFTs flowers were picked.
