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I am upset.

  • #61
We have a Chinese saying, "At the age of 3, the character at 80 is decided." Meaning, how the person is at 80 is decided at that tender age of 3.

Right on, SS. You spanked at 3!
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I believe in strict discipline. Verbal, spanking as well as occasionally turning a child into a zebra i.e. full of cane marks!
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Not sadism, not in my family. We've seen more failures with people who had no discipline than successes.
 
  • #62
oh my god
are you kidding?
cane marks?
 
  • #63
[b said:
Quote[/b] (FlytrapGurl @ April 20 2005,3:46)]I've sprained joints, broken a bone, hit nerves and hurt like hell for weeks, split my head open, busted nowhere-near-loose teeth out, fallen off a horse, gotten the wind knocked out of me many times, punched concrete walls repeatedly, and obtained various scars from various other things.
Dang, FTG... why do I get the feeling that if your grandparents attempted to spank you now, they'd likely end up hog-tied?
 
  • #64
[b said:
Quote[/b] (FlytrapGurl @ April 20 2005,3:46)]I've sprained joints, broken a bone, hit nerves and hurt like hell for weeks, split my head open, busted nowhere-near-loose teeth out, fallen off a horse, gotten the wind knocked out of me many times, punched concrete walls repeatedly, and obtained various scars from various other things.
*must see pictures* I know, I know. We've been through this picture thing before. You forgot about the knees.
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Man, you must be running out of workable parts! There can be a TV series about you - Bionic Teen.
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  • #66
Geez,no offence FlyTrapGurl but your grandparents don't sound very nice
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I mean to threaten to knock your teeth out?!That's kinda harsh. *Niki*
 
  • #67
Deffinately and borders on assault by intimidation.
 
  • #68
Virtually all parents believe they are raising their children the right way.  In most cases, however, they are merely imitating the way their parents treated them when they were children themselves, and then they rationalize that behavior.

Although corporal punishment is intended to teach children valuable lessons, its unintended effects rival the intended benefits.  For example, corporal punishment can alienate children from their parents.  Children may not relate the punishment with the offense (the intended effect) as much as become confused about why their usually loving parent is hurting them.  After all, the function of corporal punishment is to inflict pain, no matter how slight.  Corporal punishment can also unintentionally teach children that violence is the first thing that should come to mind to solve differences between people.

Many parents use corporal punishment as if it were the only option or the best option to use when a child’s behavior is especially inappropriate.  In reality, however, various options are available, and in most cases other options are much more effective.  Corporal punishment is used by people who are not aware of the other options or who have not thought enough about what they can do to discipline their child.  By the way, the word “discipline” is derived from the Latin word “disciplina,” meaning “to teach,” which has no connotation of harsh treatment.  Only later did it acquire these connotations because of its connection with the military.  So to discipline a child does not mean that corporal punishment should be involved.

I once worked as a preschool teacher, so I might know a little more than the average person about options for dealing with the inappropriate behavior of children.  However, these are techniques that all parents can learn.  Unfortunately, our society places too little value on learning how to raise children.  By comparison, in order to drive a car a person has to learn how to drive before getting a license.  I’m not saying that a license should be required for having children, but just making the observation that nothing is required -- or even expected.

To the young people on the forum, I would urge you to learn about how to raise children so you can develop a well thought out philosophy based on a consideration of various approaches and techniques before you actually have children of your own.  If you learn half as much about raising children as many of you already know about raising CPs, you won’t need to use corporal punishment, and your children will grow and thrive.
 
  • #69
I couldn't read over the whole thing, so I hope I dont repeat what anyone else has said.

In China, spanking and slapping is a common form of punishment. I never got to experiance much of it since I moved to Canada at 5, but I have seen it. I know most north americans dont think that pain is an ethical or good way to teach young children to behave, but the fact is that it does work most of the time. Once a child associates pain with the thing not to do, he/she will most likely not perform the action causing pain anymore. We are learning creatures, and a kid will learn to stop doing the things that they get punished with pain. Kids should not be spoiled and sternly teached to drive the lesson into there heads.

I'm not saying that this should always be done. Hitting kids overly (like beating them brutally with a stick everyday) is proven to cause excess violence and anger in the future, if they survived. Sometimes, talking it out and letting the kid explain is the best thing to do.

Being treatened by your parents is not really a good thing, but you must remember that they are trying to do you good. Remember that no one will ever care about you as much as them (in most cases) and they will surly want you to succeed. Never would they want to permenantly harm you, but if it would give you a better chance, they will. Do you know why people from certain cities in China are learning advanced algebra while my school is still at simple algebra? Its because they are deprived of video games and cellphones (think farming areas where money is sparce) and therefor have nothing to do but plow the fields and learn. If parents think that takeing away your video games and computers would help, they will. If you get an average mark, thinking that its your best, let me tell you its not. Your parents know that if you studied all day (I mean all day) like those farmers I was talking about, you will get an astounding improvement. They will see computers and TVs as an obsticle to this, and will probably try to take it away in hopes of giving you a edge in life. Keep in mind that they are not trying to make life a hellhole, they are just trying to give you a better future. If you think that I'm another parent trying to tell you kids off, I'm only 14.

[b said:
Quote[/b] ]We have a Chinese saying, "At the age of 3, the character at 80 is decided." Meaning, how the person is at 80 is decided at that tender age of 3.
I completley agree, habits are made to last. A polite and well behaved 3 year old will make a polite and well behaved 20 year old. I do not oppose in spanking your 3 year old because it will help her behave, she'll probably froget about you spanking her while remembering the lesson, and she'll probably not hold a grudge at 3 (if she does, ice cream always helps). Zongyi
 
  • #70
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Tropics @ April 21 2005,4:53)]To the young people on the forum, I would urge you to learn about how to raise children so you can develop a well thought out philosophy based on a consideration of various approaches and techniques before you actually have children of your own.  If you learn half as much about raising children as many of you already know about raising CPs, you won’t need to use corporal punishment, and your children will grow and thrive.
For a parent to even bother to do that alone puts them above 80% of the other parents in the world, in my opinion.
 
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