Well, Zappafan, we all loose our calm sometimes... Everything aside, I think it's admirable that you reflect on yourself and work towards making yourself a better person. One thing I must mention though, is to not undermine yourself: you quit smoking, and that takes a lot of strength and resolve. You prayed, and you received help, but forget not that it was YOU who said that you should stop smoking, YOU who took innitiative to start, even the initiative to pray and accept that you had a problem within yourself that you would like to rectify, and that takes strength all in its own. I in no way mean to dissuade you from thanking God, but I want to make sure that you remember that it took a lot of strength for you as a person. Even if you believe that you are a tool through which the lord works, remember how much easier it would have been to have ignored your problem. Sometimes asking for help is the hardest part.
I dunno, my belief in a nutshell is: I will worship the way that I believe is best, and if that isn't good enough for Him, then maybe heaven wouldn't be all it's cracked up to be. My spiel about the bible is that by not letting it lead my life, I am not turning my back on God, I don't have any less faith in Him, however my faith in thousands of years of the word being passed down by man and translated and retranslated and altered, (and so on) is slightly lacking. By being a caring, loving person, I don't see how far from the path to heaven you can stray. If there's something wrong with being kind and respectful to your fellow man and the beautiful world we live in, if there's something wrong with loving your families and friends, if there's something wrong with trying your best to be a good person, well, then I know it sounds corny: but I don't want to be right.
--Jonathan
P.S. Zappafan, even if I don't know your real name, I'll keep you in my prayers along with all of the other wonderful people here. Goodnight to all.