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Gimmie-Gimmie sydrome


N=R* fs fp ne fl fi fc L
Hey all,

I just want to pop a note in here for everyone.

In the course of the past month or so I have received a number of PMs or emails that have gone well beyond the norm of inquiring about the possibility of acquiring a plant through trade and have instead passed into the realm of rude demands.

For example, I actually received the following message:

Hi, i heard you gave person X (name removed to protect identity) a hippo plant (again, name changed to protect identities). I want one too. Here is my address...

That was the most bold one I got but others were pretty gutsy too.

Now by and large I am a very generous guy. I enjoy passing material around to others when I have it to give. And I do not mind when someone contacts me to discuss the possibility of a trade or the like. And that is the crux of it. Of late, more and more of the messages I have been receiving have not been trade oriented so much as they have been request/demand oriented.

And I am not the only one who is experiencing this, if it was just me I probably would have let it slide off me as I usually do. But in emails and conversations with some of my regular contacts there have been mentions of the same things happening.

Anyway, point I am trying to make is that there are proper ways to go about contacting someone if you are interested in trying to get material from them. Be polite, be civil and be respectful.

For example, here is an excerpt from a message I recently sent another grower:

If you ever have divisions available and are open to trading would you mind giving me a holler? Do not know if I have anything (Sarr or otherwise) that may interest you but if not I may be able to track something down through my networks

By this point they and I had already exchanged a few emails so we had a bit of a rapport going but still notice that my message was

1) Conditional ("If you ever have...")

2) Gave them the power to choose whether or not to engage the idea of a trade ("...would you mind giving me a holler?")

3) I made an offer ("...anything [Sarr or otherwise] that might interest you...")

4) I also followed it with a second offer ("...I may be able to track something down...")

These things show that I am making a serious effort to take their thoughts and position into consideration.

This is a far cry form messages like:

"I don't have anything to trade but could you give me XXX"

"Hey. Nice pics. Got any spares I can have?"

"I don't mean to bother you but I really want XXX and I have not been able to find one, Any chance I can get one of yours?"
I need one immediately.

Aww, no more Gimmies? I was going to demand your entire grow list and request you pay shipping too. Darn....

Hi, i heard you gave person X (name removed to protect identity) a hippo plant (again, name changed to protect identities). I want one too. Here is my address...

Well, that certainly is blunt. I hope I wasn't an indirect source of any of those messages...
As a tradee, I always try not to mention the sources of my plants by name unless someone is asking directly in relation to a plant's lineage, etc. I think it's just common courtesy, the same way I wouldn't give away the address that they sent it from. I don't mind people asking me about trading for things out of the blue, but not everyone I trade with likes to put up a growlist and get requests from strangers and I respect that.
One time years back a member told me they were gonna "turn me in to terraforums" if I didn't send them a plant! ha ha! I didn't bother to contact Andrew about it cos it was so rediculous.
This is why I don't post my growlist.
In light of my bad joke, I get it too. I don't mind helping new people out that don't have anything to trade but offer to pay shipping. It's all about the context of how they ask that will determine how nice I will be about it.

If it's a demand, they can forget it.

It also helps to spell my name right in the PM :poke:.

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Interesting to see this post. I've experienced the same thing. I didn't realize it was so rampant out there. I wonder if there's a common thread that ties everyone together?
  • #10
I've never gotten requests like that. I've only had 1 or 2 people ever contact me out of the blue about trading something on my growlist, but they always offered a trade and were nice.
  • #11
So how do you want it then Crissytal or Crystal ?? I'm so confused ???

Dangit Larry !

This is a good topic Pyro. Just reminding folks sometimes is all they need. Sometimes a swift kick or 2x4 upside the head it what it takes. Your also right about the wording when "asking for something". Lately I've been telling them to hang around for the auction and see what pops up.

Now if you have an extra hippo I'll take it off your hands but no way am I paying to ship that lard :censor: ! LOL
  • #12
Holy smokes! A double post Pyro! :p
  • #13

Either one, just spell it right :D. I've had both misspelled on more than one occasion.
  • #14
I agree with you completely Pyro, I could not have said it better.
I know that if i am contacted by a member who has "Gimmie-Gimmie syndrome" I delete the message and wont even take the time to look at any future messages.

Terra forums is a place to learn about the people and the plants they grow, exchange plants and related material, but it is to be done in a polite and curtious manner.
  • #15
That's why I took down my growlist.

And people could at least do a little research on the stuff they ask for first. Shipping Byblis or Drosophyllum isn't likely to go very far.
  • #16
From everything that I have read, I can say that you are a great addition to the CP community. Your generosity alone shows what type of character you have. People are taking advantage of this, and there is a line that has obviously been crossed. I have not yet become involved enough to experience what you have, but I am posting to show my support of your statements and that you brought this out in the open for others to be able to understand.

  • #17
it sucks to actually hear about people doing it....sad really. ive even seen people basically trade weeds from their yard for CPs. something is better than nothing, atleast you offer a choice.

must be irritating...thanks for the insight Travis.

  • #18
i get the occasional one usually immediately following a discussion im having about a trade in the chat box with someone else.....depending on my mood i either ignore or respond elling them im out.....dont mind the occasional request for a trade but the gimmie's get old fast....

BTW Pyro, you already sent me the hippo plant but i REALLY want the a cutting from the rhino plant you got yesterday....i understand its small yet but hey ive got capensis seed to trade :grin:
  • #19
Oh this is in the trading post also
I got a little confused for a sec there
  • #20
That is a bold email.

I think all my request for trades I ever have made have been posts in the Trade forum and never PM / emailed anyone directly.
There are some growers here that have emailed me after such a post and have been kind enough to say, whats you address and I'll mail it out to you. I have always responded with this type of generosity to respond back and tell them to look at my growlist and see if there is anything they are looking for off my list.

I know that you, Pyro, have helped me out on a few plants I have looked for. I want to post here that I greatly appreciate it, Thank you.